Son of Detroit

Might as well give us the Stanley Cup Right Now... Thank You

2009-05-26T19:55:00.005-04:00

The Mule is once again dominating the Playoffs. He is so BADD that he announced Sunday that he "don't like no cock sucking faggots." He issued a new policy that if your a peter puffer, you get no mouth piece. Sorry Kane.

All these rainbows brought Martin Havlet out of the closet.

Niklas Kronwall was sick and tired of dealing with these fudge packing, cross-country skiing, turd burglers. So he took care of business... with the best hit of the post-season. And it was CLEAN... for the most part.

Nuff Said... You want another shot at the title Pitt? Gotta go through the GREEK first.

The Dertoit Lions are at it again

2009-05-16T23:22:00.004-04:00

Ahhh man.... the Detroit Lions.... here we go again

They are my team but this organization just keeps topping themselves with the stupid shit they do. so without further ado, lets get to it.

So we all remember Kitna's 10 win guarantee. Well running back Kevin Smith goes onto his blog and decides to burn the cornbread with this..

“We will definitely make the playoffs this season. Believe it or not we weren’t far off last year. Almost every game we could have won, we were one play or one player short. Except for Tennessee on Thanksgiving, they just came out and beat us to sleep. They manhandled us, but nobody else did.”

I don't know what games Kevin Smith was watching but i'm pretty damn sure that the Lions lost by double digits in at least half of their games... When you go 0-16 and officially become the worst team of all time, i don't think you have the right to say you "weren't far off last year."

BUT... it gets better.

Lions season-ticket holder Todd Taylor , who commutes from Chicago to attend Lions home games, and his buddy Jim Allen from Royal Oak were stoked when Taylor won a replica Kevin Smith jersey during the Lions’ draft party at Ford Field.

But something was strange about the No. 34 jersey. The Smith name on the back looked bulky. So they cut it off and were shocked to see the name Jones underneath.

It appears the Lions repurposed some old Kevin Jones jerseys, turning them into Smith jerseys and gave them away to season-ticket holders.

Seriously Detroit. I know we are in some tough financial times, but have a clue one time please. This is pretty sad.

At least we signed Larry Foote. I'm liking what we have going on free agent wise and the defense is looking better on paper (not hard to do). BUTTTTTT i'd still say that if we win 6 games this year it will be a success. FORWARD DOWN THE FIELD!

Tucker Max is a Douche Bag. But i like him

2009-05-14T09:08:00.004-04:00

FACT.

Tucker Max is a Douche Bag.... or bottle, as that is the new term on the streets. If you have read his book, you know this. But the guy has some good stories, true or not. If i saw him on the streets, i'd punch him in the mouth, pick him up off the ground and buy him a beer.

I read his book over a year ago and i wanted more. His newest book got pushed back to 2010. why?? im not sure but i think it is because they are making a movie out of his best seller "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell."

After a little research, i found a story NOT in his book, but on his website. It was titled "My First Michigan Football Game" So i thought i would share it. Enjoy the read.

http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/my_first_michigan_football_game.phtml#717

Happy Mothers Day

2009-05-10T21:15:00.001-04:00

For all you Motherlovers

Lane Kiffin: Giving an Unethical Profession a Bad Name

2009-05-07T22:08:00.001-04:00

By: The Greek

College football recruiting is an art. The factors that go into include; height, weight, speed, agility, strength, athletic/play making ability, personality, versatility, intelligence, maturity and most important character. With all of these factors it is hard to find the right fit for your program, especially when you get a late start like Lane Kiffin and his Tennessee staff did when he got the job last December. On Tuesday May 5^th the Vols signed Dan Hood, a solid 6’5 255 OT/TE/DE who met all the above mentioned criteria, except for maybe the most crucial…character.

http://insider.espn.go.com/ncf/recruiting/tracker/player?recruitId=60567&action=upsell&appRedirect=http%3a%2f%2finsider.espn.go.com%2fncf%2frecruiting%2ftracker%2fplayer%3frecruitId%3d60567

(A good looking kid on the football field if you ask me)

ESPN.com reports, “According to court records, Hood and another teenager were charged in 2003 with assaulting a 14-year-old girl. The victim's legs and wrists were tied and her eyes and mouth were covered with duct tape before she was raped at the Sullivan County home of Hood's father.” Yeah, that’s right the Tennessee Vols signed a convicted rapist. Ohh did I fail to mention that the victim was also a relative of the Hood family? The article failed to mention the relationship between hood and the victim. The most disturbing part of this whole situation is Tennessee was one of a long list of schools that offered the incest rapist. Auburn, Florida State, Georgia Tech, Ole Miss, Vanderbilt, Virginia and Kentucky all offered the 6’5 Hood.

http://auburn.scout.com/a.z?s=6&p=8&c=1&nid=3624914

The weird thing is, how can you blame the kid for taking a full ride to play football in one of the best football conferences in the nation? I blame the coaches who are recruiting him. Honestly, the kid duct tape a 14-year old relative down and raped her with a 17-year old, Robert Sanico, who was charged as an adult and is serving a 10 year sentence for aggravated kidnapping and aggravated rape.

You make me sick Lane Kiffin, first you take over a historically ethical football program in Tennessee and before playing a down you taint the morals that the pervious staff under Phil Fulmer worked years to obtain. Seriously, let’s take a look at what you have done since you got the job…after you cried on ESPN when you got fired by the Raiders...you first tell the press that Urban Meyer, head coach of the National Champion Florida Gators, was calling recruits that were on a campus visit at Tennessee which would be a violation of the NCAA recruiting restrictions. After an investigation by the NCAA and being questioned you came clean and said it was a lie. Then you tell Sport Illustrated that you are so committed to recruiting that you took a call from a recruit when your wife was giving birth. When you wife was asked by a local newspaper she denied that you ever did that. And finally after losing a recruit from South Carolina to South Carolina you told him quote, “You made a bad decision and I hope you are happy with working at a gas station in South Carolina for the rest of your life, because that is all you will do after graduating from that school” then promptly hung up on the kid. You are a fucking joke Lane. College coaches have very few ethics and morals, at your level, and you seem to have broken every written and unwritten code of conduct before even coaching a single snap at Tennessee (except for spring ball). You make me want to puke and I hope you and your convicted incest rapist go 0-fer for the next 5 years and your ass gets FIRED…I enjoyed seeing you crying like a little bitch last time you got canned on sportcenter….

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=4148579

(Article from ESPN.com)

One of the Greats

2009-04-27T08:41:00.002-04:00

By: The Greek

Warm weather, short skirts and pants sooo tight they look like they were painted on…yep it is spring time and more importantly it is officially baseball season. As a kid I used to tag along with my older brother and Dad to hit up major league ball parks across this great nation and nothing has change. This weekend I will be attending two Royals vs. Tigers games in KC. As usual I will be putting on for my City, but more importantly it is gonna be all about Brews, Bros (I hate that term by the way) and Bunnies. Like most people I will be hitting up some BBQs and drinking quite heavily, moreover I will be paying homage to one of the greats, George Brett…not Brett George (DY). Not only being known for rakin’ it during his long career, Brett was known better in the baseball world for his tall tales. A few years back I played in a golf outing with a former major league umpire and he said, “George is the funniest person I have ever met.” Well, after sucking off an in division guy for the last two hundred words Ill leave you with this….

Hahahahaha classic….

Back on top

2009-04-25T11:34:00.004-04:00

Hell Yea BOI.

(Insert nickname here) Da Murder Mitten, Day Twah, D-Lish, Murder City,

After running in the top 3 the past couple years, Detroit is back on top for the Most Dangerous City in America according to Forbes.

"Detroit has, historically, been one of the more violent cities in the U.S.," says Megan Wolfram, an analyst at iJet Intelligent Risk Systems, a Maryland-based risk-assessment firm. "They have a number of local crime syndicates there--a number of small gangs who tend to compete over territory."

Here is the list

No. 1 Detroit, Mich.
(Detroit-Livonia-Dearborn, Mich., metropolitan statistical area)
Population: 1,951,186
Violent Crimes per 100,000: 1,220

No. 2 Memphis, Tenn.
(Memphis, Tenn.-Miss.-Ark. metropolitan statistical area)
Population: 1,295,670
Violent Crimes per 100,000: 1,218

No. 3. Miami, Fla.
(Miami-Miami Beach-Kendall, Fla. metropolitan statistical area)
Population: 2,401,971
Violent Crimes per 100,000: 988

No. 4 Las Vegas, Nev.
(Las Vegas-Paradise, Nev., metropolitan statistical area)
Population: 1,834,533
Violent Crimes per 100,000: 887

No. 5 Stockton, Calif.
(Stockton, Calif., metropolitan statistical area)
Population: 684,406
Violent Crimes per 100,000: 885

Flint where you at? L-Town getting some nationwide love. What can i say, ya'll know how we roll.

What's her area code?

2009-04-24T20:37:00.003-04:00

Alright folks. I'm back to educate ya'll on a new system i've been using to rate women without anybody knowing what your talking about (except the people that you teach it to). So spread the word. It's safe, easy and overall effective. Let me break it down for you.

The area code features three digits. example: 313

The first number grades the attractiveness of the face. 1 being nasty, dog face gremlin - 9 being smoking hot.

The second digit is "would you fuck her?" 1 being yes, 2 being no, 3 being only if i was drunk, and 4 being only if she was the last girl on earth.

The third digit is the attractiveness of her body - 1 being nasty - 9 having a banging sexy body.

So our example of a 313 is not a real good example unless you have really low standards which im sure some of us have. She would have a pretty ugly face, you would fuck her tho, and a pretty nasty body. For 313's, you may want to invest in this. It's on Ebay!

Tell your boys and go to town.

Detroit Sports Update

2009-04-23T20:06:00.006-04:00

I figure why not throw in my two cents on how the boys from the Dirty D are doing at moment. Lots going on. So i'll keep it straight to the point. But fuck you John Rich, they ain't shutting shit down in my hood. This is the D. We been in this recession for 30 years. It ain't new baby. We'll survive. Just like in 1967 when the racial riots were literally burning the city to the ground... The Detroit Tigers stepped up to the plate and brought this city back with a World Series Championship in 68. Willie Horton literally running through the streets to restore the peace. What you know about that.

Detroit Red Wings - Probably going to be the team to bring the life back to the city once again. No real news here. Sweeping that team from Ohio. Only real news is if they lose.

Detroit Pistons - Holy Shit. We suck again. Bring back Grant Hill and the teal uniforms. Is the NBA still in season anyway? (just checked) yes it is and Lebron James is bending over Pistons for a 2-0 lead in the series. Shit. At least that Allen Iverson deal worked out. Chauncy was way past his prime... Somebody needs to make a Joe Dumars Fail Blog video... They look like this. LOL

Oh dear lord baby jesus

Detroit Tigers - New year, same shit. They can mash the piss out of the ball but can't pitch for dick. Verlander is throwing gas but it's straight as an arrow. The bullpen is awful once we get to the 8th and 9th. Who the hell is closing games for them these days? They throw in a new face for that role every night. Surprisingly, The middle relief has been pretty solid in bailing out the starters. The rookies have been pitching great, Everett is hitting the ball, the stars continue to punish the AL and Josh Anderson turned out to be a pretty solid deal. I'm excited to see how they do the rest of the way. I don't see a wild card coming from this division but it will be a three team battle for the division. Eat em up Tigers Eat em up

Detroit Lions - New management, new jerseys, same dead team. Yup. But the draft is right around the corner and the cornbread is going back into the oven this weekend. I like the free agent acquisitions and i pray to god they know what they are doing with this draft. Rumor has it they have contracts ready for both Stafford and Curry. They are trying to trade the #1 pick or Stafford and get some return in terms of draft picks or Qb's. This could be a deal made during the draft. But in all honesty, which logo would you rather have?

The Old/New Logo
Other logo created by Matt Zelley

CMU Football - Putting on for Mount Pleasant

2009-04-23T19:52:00.001-04:00

Jumbotron Steadicam Video (Put On) from Mike Germond on Vimeo.

MLB Preview (a little late)

2009-04-22T20:58:00.002-04:00

Hey guys, the Swami back. After having a very successful NCAA bracket, it is now onto the baseball season. The season is only 5 days old, but I want to give you my picks for the season and let everyone in on players to watch and who I believe will win the postseason awards.

Some teams to watch

Detroit Tigers – The Tigers are coming off a very sub par year which saw them finish last in the AL Central. If the Tigers hope to contend in the AL Central, they must rely on bats of Miguel Cabrera, Magglio Ordonez and Curtis Granderson. These three will lead the Tigers in most offensive categories. Where the season could take a turn for the worse is in the bullpen. The Tigers were finally able to run off Todd Jones as he finally rode off into the sunset but they picked up another reliever in the same mold, Brandon Lyon. Lyon who is prone to give up the long ball proved that in spring training by giving up four homeruns on four straight pitches. Joel Zumaya is a walking band aid; he can’t seem to ever get healthy, maybe its time to finally quit playing Guitar Hero. The starting pitching was bolstered in the off season with the addition of Edwin Jackson, who pitched in the Rays rotation last season. Mix in Justin Verlander and Armando Galarraga and the pitching staff should show some promise. During spring training the Tigers opted to keep two of their top young talent in the big league, Ryan Perry and Rick Porcello. Both kids have no big league experience but will be counted on. Porcello is holding down the number 5 spot in the rotation while Perry is a reliever. Look for great things out of these two kids.

Atlanta Braves – The Braves were once one of the most popular teams in the league but recently they have had to cut payroll and haven’t been nearly as competitive in the NL East. But this year could be a revitalization. The Braves bolstered their pitching rotation with the signing of Derek Lowe and Javier Vazquez. Add them to a rotation that already includes Jair Jurrjens things can only look up for the Braves. The Braves have one of the best catchers in all of baseball, Brian McCann. They will also rely on Larry “Chipper” Jones, Jeff Francouer and Yunel Escobar. Look out for speedster Jordan Schafer who will man centerfield at Turner Field.

Florida Marlins – The Florida Marlins have one of the lowest payrolls in baseball, yet they always seem to win a lot of ball games. This year should be no different. Many thought after they traded away Miguel Cabrera, the team was going to fall apart, but they didn’t. The Marlins will rely heavily on Hanley Ramirez and Dan Uggla. Watch out for former Tiger, Cameron Maybin, who could end up being a Gold Glove Centerfielder sometime in his career. The starting rotation is young, but has a lot of talent. They are led by Ricky Nolasco and Josh Johnson. Andrew Miller, a former Tiger, will come out of the bullpen.

Awards

MVP – Albert Pujols – St. Louis Cardinals

American League Cy Young – Roy Halliday – Toronto Blue Jays

National League Cy Young – Tim Lincecum

American League Rookie of the Year – Matt Weiters – Baltimore Orioles

National League Rookie of the Year – Jordan Schafer – Atlanta Braves

American League Manager of the Year – Bob Ceren – Oakland Athletics

National League Manager of the Year – Bobby Cox – Atlanta Braves

Division Winners

AL East – Boston Red Sox

AL Central – Detroit Tigers

AL West – Los Angeles Angels

AL Wild Card – Tampa Bay Rays

NL East – New York Mets

NL Central – Chicago Cubs

NL West – LA Dodgers

NL Wild Card – Atlanta Braves

ALCS – Los Angles Angels over Tampa Bay Rays

NLCS – New York Mets over Chicago Cubs

World Series – New York Mets over Los Angeles Angels

Red Raider Nation

2009-04-22T17:17:00.004-04:00

By: The Greek

If you are a college football fan you know the Texas Tech Red Raiders are a little bit off. They are one of only a hand full of teams that run a pure spread offense, their head coach is completely unorthodox and uses only a hand written vanilla folder as his play call sheet and their starting right guard last season rocked the no helmet Mohawk and painted face during warm-ups. However, they are quite successful even though they do things a little different in Lubbock Texas. (Texas is a joke by the way…)

If you have never met someone from Texas I will give you a brief background on how they think. Texans think that whatever they do is cool, from wearing sunglasses in the bar at 1:30AM, to sea-walking while holding the brim of their hat, calling Jeager Bombs...Bull Blasters or saying that the Dallas Cowboys are America’s team…honestly, you cannot give yourself a nickname and think the rest of the country will call you that. But, this video will prove that Texans are idiots and they are too stupid to even realize it.

“YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAA get that shit boiiiiiiiii”

Sorry ya'll

2009-04-15T12:33:00.002-04:00

Sorry for not being able to post in like a week. This has been caused by a number of reasons ...

1. The roommate took my money to the internet bill and bought dog food with it for the past 2 months... so i have no internet except at work.
2. It's baseball season so when the team is home, im putting in 70 plus hours of glue stiffing, money making, searching for drunk girls with low self esteem...time. so back up off me. i have some time at lunch and i'm on this stupid website.
3. i dunno, shit. i keep forgeting the topics to discuss. i need to write them down.

Hopefully i'll be back in action next week. Till Then, the Greek is holding it down. Thats my NU

Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright….

2009-04-12T18:34:00.006-04:00

By: The Greek

So Michigan State got whipped pretty badly in the National Title game. I am not gonna sugar coat it, but UNC was much bigger and much faster. After about ten minutes into the game, I just sat back in amazement that Lawson could take an inbound pass up the court within only a few steps. But it is what it is, UNC are the 2009 Champs….

Don’t worry about it too much Sparty’s, even with 21 turnovers and a poor showing in defending the post you still made this Spartan proud. You kept fighting till the end and that is all I can ask for. The day of the National Title game I read this article and it became apparent that if MSU lost, it wasn’t because they were not ready for UNC, but rather they were simply out manned. But, after a few days I have let it settled and could only come away with one negative from last Monday night. Seriously, Magic why the fuck are you wearing a Tar Heel Blue and White dress shirt??? Did you honestly think that not one Michigan State fan wouldn’t notice that you were not wearing your little MSU warm-up, but instead sporting the colors of the team we were playing? Comon’ Magic, you let me down on the biggest stage of the year…

With it all said and done, I am happy with the showing the Spartans had in the tourney. All I know is that we will be alright with Andre 3000 (Durrell Summers) on the team for 2 more years!!! Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright…

My Team…My City…

2009-04-06T19:49:00.003-04:00

By: The Greek

Well folks, last week I mention I would take on the country music industry. To make a long story short, it was gonna talk about how John Rich’s song is a fuckin’ joke and how Detroit doesn’t need some no toothed, sister humping, buttfucker telling us that things will be ok….Detroit was built on the sweat of hard work, the blisters on the hands of harden people and the work ethic of a people who never quit, a people who don’t back down from the fight…a people that no matter what the odds keep grinding…no matter what. So this a little warning to country music, next time I hear some bullshit song about Detroit…the haymakers will start flying…

Now, to my post...that is what I am fuckin talking about Michigan State Basketball. For the second time in six days the Michigan State Spartans basketball team beat a #1 seed in the NCAA tourney…just to put thing in perspective the only other time MSU has beaten a #1 seed was in 1979 (Indiana St.) and 2000 (Florida). If the Spartans pull of the so called upset in the National Title game they will be the second all time team to win a National Championship in their home state (1975 UCLA) and the second team in NCAA basketball history to beat three #1 seeds on their way to the ultimate goal. (Note: When MSU is a #1 or #2 seed they have the highest winning % in the nation of .758)

If you read my last post you know I only went 1-3 in my prediction…well .333 gets me into Cooperstown. Not to mention I said, “If Suton scores 20, the Spartans win”…well I was wrong. But, with Morgan coming through with an 18pts, 9 boards and 5 steals he came through when State needed him the most. Thank you Raymar, I know I have not been your biggest fan this year, but you will now always have a little spot in my heart. Also the play of the Big Ten player of the year, Kalin Lucas, was Chris Paul-ish leading his team with 21pts, 5 ast and leading yet another stellar team defensive performance. Now, the difference maker in this game was the underclassmen who hands down over achieved. Freshmen Draymond Green dropped 8pts in the second half…along with Korie Lucious 11pts. And with a little under 6mins left in the game sophomore Durrell Summers got Motown rocking with this dunk…and pretty much seals the game…

Here is what to look for in the rematch of the Dec. 4^th ass whippin’ of MSU at the hands of North Carolina. Just like my college basketball inside told me before the Uconn game (Pete Ca$h) the Sparty’s will be getting down and dirty (physical) often to slow down UNC high powered offense. Suton will have to step it up, due to the fact that MSU can not depend on Morgan and the underclassmen to have a repeat performance. North Carolina has been the favorite to win it all since the beginning of the season, but Michigan State is the hottest team in all of basketball…nothing changes, MSU 72-UNC 71…

There is one last point I would like to make. If you watched any of the pre game of the final four you saw about 4 videos about how Detroit is struggling and about 8 reporters giving Detroit props. Yeah, it was nice to see my city getting some play on national television, but I want to know where all of this was back in December when the entire country wanted Congress to tell us to fuck off and fall by the wayside. Where were you when Detroit was about to fall into the obis, what the fuck were you waiting for? You didn’t think that bailing out the automakers would save the city? Well, unlike finical we didn’t get a 715 billion dollar bailout and give bonuses to keep our employees…instead we have to justify why we need 14 billion and were given a check list to get the money over the course of time. In other words, fuck all of you out there that didn’t want to help the hand that built this county, the city that gave you air planes for free during WWII, the city that gave you the sound track of the civil rights movement and the city made the foundation in which you all are standing upon. You turned your backs on us in our darkest hour, but now feel remorseful and sympathetic…well fuck you and your sympathy, we don’t need it. We built this country with our bare hands and you spit in the face of the companies who made it possible. Have a clue America, the Green wave technology boom of light speed trains and massive transpiration is years away with the infrastructure we have. You let GM fall and their supplier’s close, once they are gone Ford and Chrysler close. A few months later, the foreign automakers close up shop and move back to Asia, because their suppliers have ran dry and it becomes too expensive to ship in parts to make cars in America. You fucked us and now you are about to get fucked and have no idea. Don’t worry about Detroit…we Detroiters will never let the city die…we are proud of where we come from and unlike other cities we have seen it all and have pulled through it…highest murder rates in the country, corrupt mayors, riots, burnt down house and closed businesses. But no matter what, we find a way to keep fighting…we might be up against the ropes, but its only a matter of time until we are the champions once again. Keep up Detroit, Michigan State will put on for our City. God Bless Michigan State Basketball, God Bless Detroit and God Bless America….GO GREEN!!!

You might be from Ohio when?

2009-03-31T20:58:00.005-04:00

You rig up a device like this, get drunk, and go for a joy ride at 38 miles per hour, crash your bar stool and get arrested for drunk driving. Yup, Twenty-eight-year Kile Wygle was hospitalized for minor injuries after crushing 15 beers.... A background check confirms that not only did his parents spell his name wrong at birth, but they also reside in Ohio... suckker. Don't make stupid rap videos either ya bum

Puuuurrrreeeee

2009-03-30T07:55:00.006-04:00

By The Greek

Well folk, after a few weeks The Greek is back and in a more celebrator mood. For the 5^th time under the Tom Izzo the Michigan State Spartans are heading back to the Final Four. For those of you who do not know me personally, I am a big sports fan…but there are only two teams in all of sports that I watch pretty much every game they participate in. The first being the Detroit Tigers and the second of course is the Michigan State Spartans basketball team.

Despite being “Kishfaced” the entire weekend watching the tourney I have crawled out of my bed to throw it down from my Sparty Dawgs. Over coming some shotty calls against KU late in the game and just making Louisville their bitch the Michigan State Spartans will be heading back to the Final Four for the 7^th time in school history.

Before moving on with my predictions of what to except out of the semi-final round, I wanna say something about the play of MSU this past weekend. Without a doubt the Spartans are playing great ball, but honestly the last three half’s they have played can be closely compared to the 2000 National Title team. It is well known Izzo hangs his hat on defense and consistent offense. That is exactly what the Spartans have provided with only giving up 61 ppg (63 ppg during regular season) and scoring 70 ppg (72 ppg during regular season). However where are the points coming from is what really matters. Goran Suton has stepped it up, unlike the previous big fellas such as Zach Randolph, Paul “shit the bed” Davis (Which it is true that he gave a signed pair of his Final Four shoes to a girl for her birthday as a gift) and Big Red…yeah you know who I am talking about, but I forgot his name. During the regular season Suton averaged a little over 10 ppg, but in the last two games he has dropped 20pts and 19pts. What is the point of this? If Suton has over 18pts the Spartans win…we don’t even need Morgan to score…seriously what a disappointment…

Here is what is gonna go down next weekend in the D. Spartans over Uconn 67-62 and UNC over Nova…ummmm 82-71. Rematch of the 2005 Final Four where State got their asses handed to them. But I called it in my ESPN.com pool, Michigan State over UNC 72-71. If not, get the gas mask, lighters and rocks ready cause the party is gonna get a little hossy….just how we like it…

I know this is not my greatest post, but like mentioned above I am still recovering from being “Kishfaced”. GO GREEN!!!

(On Deck: Country Music, you wanted a shot at the Title and now you got it…you sister humping, no teeth, buttfuckers)

How Sweet it is

2009-03-26T19:53:00.007-04:00

Hey the Swami is back. I missed round 2 had a lot of stuff going on. Its Sweet 16 time. The Swami likes his picks and is going to guarantee 7 out of 8 picks. Yes that’s right.

Let’s start in the Midwest:

Louisville vs. Arizona – Cinderella has been dancing for the last week or so in the form of the Wildcats. This week the matchup is a tough one. Arizona has looked good in their games while Louisville has not really played up to their capabilities yet. Louisville is one of the worst free throw shooting teams in the land. And while I don’t think this game will come down to free throws, it would sure make for an interesting game if Louisville has to make them in crunch time. The glass slipper breaks. Cardinals Win!

Kansas vs. Michigan St. – This is a rematch of a regular season game in which the Spartans won easily. Kansas is a more experienced team, but they still don’t have the firepower to keep up with the Spartans. Look for Travis Walton to continue his outstanding play from the last game and also look for Suton and Roe to shut down Aldrich. Spartans Win and move on to the Elite 8.

On to the West:

UConn vs. Purdue – Another interesting matchup. UConn has looked nearly unstoppable in their two previous games while Purdue has also looked good. A.J. Price has been shooting the lights out and Jeff Adrien has looked outstanding. The Boilermakers are still riding the play of Hummel and Johnson. If Purdue can get hot from the 3 point line they have a chance to win. The x-factor is going to be how Purdue handles Thabeet. Thabeet was a non factor in the last game but could go off at any point. Purdue finds a way to contain Thabeet and Price and the Boilermakers win.

Missouri vs. Memphis – Memphis looked outstanding in their last game. Freshman Evans has looked good. Memphis has the veteran leadership that could get them to the Championship Game. But if they play like they did in the first round game, they could be in for a rude awakening. Missouri is a very talented team but I don’t think they have the guns to keep up with the Tigers. Memphis wins.

On to the South:

North Carolina vs. Gonzaga – Ty Lawson is going to play. That’s the big story. Gonzaga has been here before and has the experience. But they are playing North Carolina who also has a great deal of experience. Lawson and company prove to be too much for the Bulldogs, UNC wins.

Syracuse vs. Oklahoma – The Orange have looked great. So much for being tired from the Big East Tournament. Jonny Flynn and Eric Devendorf might be the best backcourt left in the tourney. The two x-factors could be Ongenaet and Onuaku who have to deal with Griffin. Oklahoma will only go as far as Blake Griffin takes then and that could be on to the Elite 8. Syracuse has the knack fro winning big games. I like them. Orange Win.

Last but not least the East:

Pittsburgh vs. Xavier – Pittsburgh still hasn’t played a great overall game. If Blair gets into foul trouble it could spell the end of Pittsburgh. Xavier has become one of the most consistent programs in the country and has the respect of everyone. Xavier is going to have to call on all their “X-Men” heroes if they intend to win. Pittsburgh is too tough. Panthers win.

Villanova vs. Duke – This should be a great matchup. Villanova is playing great. Scottie Reynolds, a Michigan Native, is playing outstanding basketball. Duke is also playing great. Villanova has all the tools to make a run to the final four. It all depends on how good Duke is shooting from the 3 point line. Nova wins in a close one.

“SWAMI”

How to make the panties drop

2009-03-22T14:58:00.008-04:00

There are many ways to impress a women.... Some of them include candle light dinners, flowers, chocolates, gifts, surprises that you had to put a lot of thought into, etc etc. Very cute. You may have just earned some brownie points. But, for those that are looking to take it to the next level, i have some make or break suggestions for you to try... some of which i have personally done in the past... others im saving for...uhhh.... the right girl... or something like that. Maybe just the next girl. lol here ya go. I'd appreciate some comments of other techniques that you have used to make the panties drop. NICEEEEEE

Dick in a box

Step 1: Cut a hole in the box
Step 2: Put your junk in that box
Step 3: Have her open the box
Nuff said

The Wrestler

That's right. You show up to your girlfriends house with a singlet on... you better be ready for a wrestling match. The singlet may also be substituted for a thong.. if that's your style.

Editors note: (that is not me in the photo... but once upon a time i did dawn the uniform.)

Weddings

Just gotta show up... it's that easy.

Write a song

Compose a song about a girl with beautiful eyes or suicide, preferably both. If you can’t write one, just learn to play Death Cab or some other “indie” band. Find the most conspicuous place in town and start playing – your sadness cannot be fettered. Pretty soon you should be swimming in girls who wear American Apparel, smoke cigarettes, and go by French names. The only down side: you have to maintain that disenchanted, bored attitude during sex. No O-faces allowed – that shows you care too much.

Play the odds with alcohol

Ya gotta put the numbers in your favor. This is a timeless, classic strategy. Mix enough alcohol with enough drunk girls with low self-esteem and one of them must be willing to take pity on your sorry self.

If those five don't work for ya, you could try your hand at growing a personality. If that doesn’t work, probably only addiction to hard drugs will dull the pain. Either way you’re probably screwed… and not in the fun way.

Also stumbled upon this website - http://www.ineedanotherwordforvagina.com/ - click for a good laugh - i think you just have to reload the page for a new word. enjoy

Let the Madness begin (Round 1)

2009-03-19T20:04:00.008-04:00

Posted by Guest posted: The Swami

It’s that time of the year once again when people start filling out their brackets hoping to win money in their office pools. Many people are just hoping to hold bragging rights amongst their friends. Well, I am going to give a run down of my picks all the way up till the championship game in Detroit.

Let’s start in the Midwest:

Louisville vs. Morehead St. – Come on now, Louisville in a romp.

Siena vs. Ohio St. – An interesting 8 vs. 9 match up here – I like Siena and their veteran leadership

Utah vs. Arizona – A lot of people said Arizona didn’t belong in the tournament. They prove their critics wrong and stun #5 Utah.

Wake Forest vs. Cleveland St - On paper this looks like a total mismatch. However, Wake hasn’t played at a very high level and Cleveland St. could upset them but not tonight. Wake Forest wins

West Virginia vs. Dayton – Huggy Bear will have his team ready to go. WVU wins easily.

Kansas vs. North Dakota St – Beware of the Bison! They shoot nearly 50% from 3 point land and Kansas has the reputation for losing games they shouldn’t. I like North Dakota St. to pull a stunner. Watch out for Ben Woolside, the Bison’s PG.

Boston College vs. USC – USC really showed a lot in the Pac-10 Tourney. I like them to continue their solid play and beat Boston College.

Michigan St. vs. R. Morris – MSU wins easily

On to the West:

UConn vs. UT Chat – To long of a name for UT, UConn wins easily.

BYU vs. Texas A&M – The Aggies play in a much better conference but the boys from BYU, but I like BYU to pull out the win.

Purdue vs. Northern Iowa – Matt Painter has his team playing pretty well right now. In order for Northern Iowa to win, Robbie Hummel would have to get lost in a cornfield in Iowa for Panthers to have any shot. Plus Thrubis lives in Iowa, not going there.

Washington vs. Mississippi St. – Washington has Jon Brockman and Isaiah Thomas (not Zeke) but Mississippi St. is on a role right now and they have the “blockmaster” in Jarvis Varnado, Mississippi St. in an upset.

Marquette vs. Utah St. – This is an intriguing match-up. Marquette is without G Dominic James and not many people know much about Utah St, but they are 9-3 in their last 12 games. Utah St. in an upset.

Missouri vs. Cornell - Big 12 vs. Ivy League – Missouri wins easily.

Cal vs. Maryland – Coach Gary Williams is a magician at getting his team ready to play and I like this Maryland team especially Greivis Vasquez and they are one of the few teams that beat North Carolina this year. Maryland wins.

Memphis vs. Cal State Northridge – One and down for Northridge. Side note Northridge had their leader scorer suspended for theft. Nice!

On to the South:

North Carolina vs. Radford – No chance for Radford. Ty Lawson doesn’t need to play. UNC wins easily

LSU vs. Butler – LSU has the better athletes including Marcus Thornton but Butler plays better defensive and can shoot the 3. Butler wins! Watch out for Matt Howard.

Illinois vs. Western Kentucky – Chester Frazier will not play thus hurting the Illini chances. The Hilltoppers rely heavily on outside shooting. They beat Louisville this year. Hilltoppers win.

Gonzaga vs. Akron – Coach Mark Few and his Bulldogs have too much experience and talent. Jeremy Pargo is the real deal. Bulldogs win easily.

Arizona St. vs. Temple – Another interesting matchup. ASU has James Harden but not much else. Harden can only do so much and the Sun Devils have shown a tendency to play down to their competition. The Owls counter with Dionte Christmas who averages almost 20 points a game. I like Temple in this one because of Christmas! Who doesn’t like Christmas!

Syracuse vs. Stephen F. Austin – Many people don’t believe Syracuse has anything left in the tank. Bu they do. Jonny Flynn is playing great basketball right now. The Lumberjacks are no match for the Orange.

Clemson vs. Michigan – Michigan has beaten some pretty good teams this year but has lost to teams they shouldn’t lose to. (Iowa). Both teams are 6-6 in their last 12 games. I give the edge to Coach Beilein because Oliver Purnell has never won a NCAA tourney game. Michigan wins a close one.

Oklahoma vs. Morgan St. – Morgan St. is in for a long night at the hands of Blake Griffin. Griffin is the real deal and the Sooners win easily.

Last but not least the East:

Pittsburgh vs. E. Tennessee St. – Pitt wins easily.

Oklahoma St. vs. Tennessee - I really like this Tennessee team even though they are very unpredictable. The Cowboys are a good team but I think Tennessee wins this one. Thanks to Bruce Pearl and his “Manboobs”.

Florida St. vs. Wisconsin – FSU is a dangerous team when Toney Douglas is playing his game. Wisconsin does not have a lot of talent and won’t be able to keep up with the horses from FSU. FSU wins.

Xavier vs. Portland St. The number 4 seed is a little high for Xavier but will have little trouble at the hands of Portland St. Portland St. may have the smallest player in the tournament 5’6” Guard Jeremiah Dominguez and he can ball. Still no match for the “X-Men”

UCLA vs. VCU – This is the battle of the pointguards. Darren Collison vs. Eric Maynor. Maynor may be the better player but Collison has the experience of being to a couple of Final Fours. However, I like the underdogs. VCU wins!

Villanova vs. American – American could be a very tough team to beat for a lot of teams but not Villanova. Scottie Reynolds is a great play and will lead his time to victory. Nova wins.

Texas vs. Minnesota – This years Texas team lacks a team feel. A.J. Abrams is tough but that’s about all Texas has. Minnesota is a true team. They have 10 players who have each scored over 17 points in at least one game this year. I like Tubby Smith and the Gophers to beat the Longhorns.

Duke vs. Binghampton – Even though I can’t stand Duke, the Bearcats can’t match the talent Duke has. Blue Devils win easily.

Those are my picks for the First Round. Check back late Friday for my second round picks!

The Next Lebron

2009-03-15T13:38:00.001-04:00

You need to watch this entire video. At the age of 11, this kid has more talent than you will ever have

I give it a year before USC is recruiting him

I may be drunk but im pretty sure this is how you train a dog

2009-03-15T01:28:00.001-04:00

Responsibility ? What the Fuck does that taste like?

2009-03-14T15:28:00.004-04:00

Don't get Blackout Drunk with your Co-Workers. The lessons we learn as we go through this thing called life. It's one thing to drunk and make a fool out of yourself at the bar... it's another to wake up face down with your pants off in the closet of your co-workers apartment...

In college it wasn't all that bad. I once got blackout drunk and went to bed with my girlfriend, only to wake up in two rooms down the hall in her roommates bed... with her roommate. Needless to say, that relationship didn't quite workout. But it made a hell of a story to tell my buddies.

However, when you drink with your co-workers, people that you REALLY don't want knowing your stories end up hearing them... and it is not good.

Nicknames such as the boogie-man become created. Or the term "Kishfaced" becomes the new street slang around the office. I think that is absolutely hilarious but i definitely don't want to hear the bosses using the term. I'm pretty sure they think i'm an alcoholic... which im not. I just like to party on the weekends. Ain't got shit else to do. right?

It's all about that liquid confidence. Nothing wrong with that. I just propose that you don't get black out drunk and attempt to dance with co-workers because it's gonna come back and bit you in the ass.

That is all i got today... time to gear up for round two. LETS GO

Devin Gardner is going Blue

2009-03-12T20:02:00.007-04:00

Ooooohhhh boy. It's been confirmed that QB Devin Gardner of Inkster High School has given the University of Michigan his verbal commitment. Gardner 6'4, 196 pounds and runs a 4.6 40. The dual-threat quarterback, threw for nearly 1,900 yards and 26 touchdowns while rushing for about 1,400 yards and 22 touchdowns. He led the Vikings to the Division 3 state championship game, where they lost 43-24 to East Grand Rapids.

AMP: Devin Gardner camp highlights @ Rivals Video

If you didn't know, he is like Pat White but with an arm to add to the arsenal. Look out Big Ten.

"I was surprised," Inkster coach Greg Carter said. "I thought it would be a last-minute thing. He told me he wanted his mom (Marlene McClellan) to be a part of his football experience. He knows what a Michigan education can do for him in this area when he's done playing. That's the type of conversation I had with Cam (Cameron Gordon)."

Gardner is rated as a four star on both Rivals and Scout but he has the potential to be a 5 star recruit. His athleticism is ideal. He needs to be coached on his footwork but is overall a high quality prospect. Don't be surprised if he jumps into the top 100 recruits in the entire country. He WILL be in ESPN's top 250. Gardner also received offers from LSU, Notre Dame, Nebraska, Michigan State, West Virginia, Oregon, Purdue, Iowa, Cincinnati, Baylor and Wisconsin.

Doing the bull dance, feeling the flow... Working it.

Heeeeeyyyy Yo Bitch, Where my money be at?

2009-03-10T21:59:00.005-04:00

In news regarding complete stupidity

Girl, what the fuck are you thinking?

Courtney Paris of the Oklahoma Woman's Basketball team not only guaranteed a National Championship, she is willing to pay back her scholarship money if they don't win. That comes out to about $64,000.

"I have a passion for our fans and university, and I want to do something special," Paris said, according to The Oklahoman. "That's why I put my scholarship on the table. I meant what I said."

Well, the Oklahoma Sooners are the third ranked team in the nation and will likely get a #1 seed in the NCAA tourny but in case she hasn't checked, The UConn Woman's B-ball may be the best team in the history of Woman's basketball.

Nobody has even challenged them this year. They are #1 in the nation. They are 33-0 and beat the #2 ranked team UNC by 30 points. Their closest game all season was a 10 point win against #24 ranked Notre Dame and a 10 point win at Rutgers. Has she lost her mind? DMX called and wants his money.

HEYYYYY Yo Bitch!

Detroit Lions: Where Unamazing Happens

2009-03-08T16:55:00.004-04:00

I wanted to update the free agent signings that our Detroit Lions have made over the past week. While gathering some info, i stumbled across some pretty good video's to share for ya'll.

So we've made some signings over the week. Will it improve the team? probably not. But we did bring in a couple nice free agents.

Phillip Buchanon DB - This is a nice little pick up for the Lions. He spent his last three seasons starting for Tampa Bay. They are adding some real depth to the DB position which is much needed. Buchanon is 28 and has been a solid player in the league for eight years. He will be slated to start in 09 and may also be used in the return game. I like the signing but the DB's can only do so much. The Lions need to get some pressure on the other teams QB and actually have safety that can cover and tackle... which we don't. So unless something changes, we will turn a good DB into another bum.

Grady Jackson DT -
The positives - Grady Jackson is a BEAST at 6'2 and 345 pounds. A real run stopper. a seasoned vet.
The negatives - Jackson is entering his 14th year in the league and is 36 years old. He doesn't have the motor like he did in Green Bay. So we sign him to a short year deal right? WRONG. We lock him into a three year contract. umm.. ok.

So far i'm liking the fact that we are bringing in new talent; however, we need to address the positions of need, which are O-Line, D-Line, Linebackers, Safeties, and a QB. Of course we will use the draft to help out the process. Looking at the depth chart, we only have 6 o-lineman at the moment. We have two unrestricted free agents i'm not including that could but probably wont re-join the team. All of this is leading me to believe we grab a O-lineman with the #1 pick and a LB at #20. Please don't draft a QB. Save it for our first rounder next year.

As it turns out, even Hitler is a Lions fan. So it really can't get any worse.

This is how we roll

2009-03-08T16:39:00.002-04:00

Wrap it up yo

This is why he's still the Champ

2009-03-04T22:35:00.003-05:00

Nuff Said

UPDATE: Boat Survivor Reveals Details of What Really Happened

2009-03-04T21:46:00.003-05:00

Before i get into this sad news i need to release... In round 1, My scorecard reads USA 10, Canada 8. Canada came out with the fisticuffs up but took a beating by USA throughout the entire round. Could this fight be a first round KO?

So breaking news out of Detroit... cuz thats where i get my info from, is that the only survivor, Nick Schuyler, revealed the truth of what went down at sea. And it is not good.

After several hours after the boat capsized, Schuyler said one of the NFL players "had enough", took off his life jacket, and drifted out to sea. A few hours after that, the other NFL player gave up and did the same thing. The third friend William Bleakley later thought he saw a light and decided to swim for it. Link Here

I'm stunned by the details. I don't understand how these guys could just give up. I know the obvious question will be "How do the NFL players give up before the other two?" Shouldn't they be in better physical and mental condition?" It just goes to show what will-power can do for an individual. I remember Schuyler was quoted saying that the only thing that kept him alive was thinking about how he didn't want his mother attending his funeral. Extremely sad story.

In Lions news, they announced that Corey Smith's number 93 will not be worn next season.

You are Aboot to get an ass whippin

2009-03-03T08:40:00.004-05:00

By: The Greek

Ight Canada, you want a shot at the title? You got it you socialist fruit cakes….

Just because we share a boarder does not mean that we are friends, nor does it mean you can jokingly take shots at my beloved city and not get a little retaliation from the dirtiest dawg in the D, yours truly…The motherfucker Greek…

I will try to reframe from pointing out everything wrong with Canada (like the dude on dude action) and stick to your post on how Canada plans on bailing out the heart and soul of America, but honestly it is going to be tough. First let’s start with a quote, “In an unprecedented move by the United States Government the U.S. Congress passed a bill on Monday that would make Detroit and the entire state of Michigan part of Canadian property.” Do you even know what the fuck a Bill is?...you Prime Mister loving pillow bitters…I digress, you are on the right track tho, the Congress does have the right to accept a new state into the United States under Article Four of the United States Constitution. However, they also reserve the obligation to protect each state of the United States by any foreign or domestic enemy…Article Four…Section Two…Clause One…

Lets get past the fact that most of us are smarter than you…due to the fact that unlike in a Communist country like yourself, we have the privilege of going to whatever school we like…same with hospitals…so when your waiting 6 weeks to get that busted ACL surgery, I will be back to playing real football (cause I can just pay to have my surgery whenever I want) and not that shit eattin’ retarded way you play it….

But humor me, let’s say it goes through and the Murda Mitten is engulfed by their neighbors to the north. Do you think your country would really stand a chance against a Michigan revolution? I bet we have more automatic firearms in Wayne County (which Detroit is in) than in all of the Queens Army…that’s what you call them right??? Are you still sucking on the mother tit from across the pond? Yea, we broke it off 232 years ago..she just wasn’t doing it for us anymore. Back to my point, it would be only hours before Ontario would burn to the ground…we would blow it all over Windsors face. Not to mention how the other providences will go down one by one…I have to be brutally honest I have no idea how many providences there are or what their names are…I really don’t give a shit what happens outside of the D.

Have a clue Canada, we named a gas guzzling SUV (Yukon) after one of your providences…ooppsies I guess I did know one…

Just let the Blue Jays move to Santa Fe, New Mexico (they need something to stop hitting on their sisters) and let the Raptor shut down shop. Conversely, we will let you take the Insane Clown Posse (the Shiawassee Posse too) and the Detroit Lions, we don’t even want anything in return. Trust me Detroiters, with the Lions more than 50 miles away we will be able to watch them without the fear of a television blackout. But, Kid Rock is where I draw the line. I mean it’s really not my thing, but my homie DY rocks it so I think we will be keeping the little fella.

Seriously, Canada where the fuck do you get off coming at Detroit like that? I will give you two things; you gave us Canadian beer (its like moonshine…hell yes) and hockey. And you are not even holding that bitch down, the Red Wings have been making you eat shit on and off since the 1930’s. Just because you put lipstick on a whore doesn’t mean she never went down on 13 guys at a frat party…you are what you are Canada…the closest thing to a third world country that boarders the United States. Go back to your man Capri’s, your social healthcare and your Steve Nash sex dolls. We might be poor, nasty and unwanted, but at least we aint no fuckin’ Canadians.

And while I am at it…hey Ohio…yeah I am talking to you bitch, we want Toledo back you thieving ass clowns…

Still the motherfuckin’ champ….this shit is goin’ international son…

Canadian Bail Out

2009-03-02T11:52:00.005-05:00

By: The Villain: Ravishing Rick Rude

In an unprecedented move by the United States Government the U.S. Congress passed a bill on Monday that would make Detroit and the entire state of Michigan part of Canadian property. Michigan will become the 11th province of Canada in exchange for the Toronto Blue Jay’s baseball team and Toronto Raptors NBA club.

“This is a great move for both parties involved,” Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm stated in a press release Monday,” This allows us to get more bailout money from a different country while maintaining our regional roots.”

The move energized the sports world and MLB after years of living with the mistake of placing America’s pastime in America’s wasteland. The Blue Jays will maintain the same ownership group and are looking at Durham, NC, Santa Fe NM and Portland OR as potential city suitors. The Raptors will be folding to lessen the watered down talent of the NBA.

Congressional members would not go on the record in regards to the move but some insiders say this was both a cost saving measure and could save tax payers billions.

“This move allows us to ship Kid Rock, Insane Clown Posse, The Detroit Lions and any other aspects that might cloud America’s gene pool to the north.” One Washington insider stated. The House and Senate are still trying to keep the Detroit Tigers in place, but may have to concede an NHL franchise in the process. Early indication was the Colorado Avalanche would head back to Quebec – where they belong.

Initial outrage from the American public has begun with the main point of contention being America losing a state, forcing every flag flying at the moment obsolete. Talking heads and Cable News has already provided some solutions. “We can pick up Washington DC or Puerto Rico to even out the state balance,” MSNBC’s Keith Olberman said on his not-so-popular show “Countdown”. “Either way this will be a solid move for the country in tough economic times.
The proposed legislation will be on the President’s desk by Wednesday.

Hey Ryan Mallett, Have a Clue

2009-03-01T13:47:00.003-05:00

FORMER Michigan QB Ryan Mallet was arrested Fayetteville, Arkansas early this morning for public intoxication. Mallett transferred from Michigan to the Razorbacks after his freshman season when he realized that he would not fit into the new offense. He had sideline issues with Carr and Manningham. It was rumored that he was disliked by many of his teammates and could be found at Scorekeepers every Thursday night besides the fact that he was only a 19 year old. He has been referred to as a "douchbag" and his mug shot pretty much confirms all doubt.

Way to go ya bum. Best of luck in Hicktown.

Breaking News: Lions player gone missing in Gulf Coast

2009-03-01T12:43:00.004-05:00

Not so good news coming out of Clearwater Florida today. Reports have confirmed that DE Corey Smith along with three others went missing last night when they didn't return from the ir fishing trip in the Gulf Coast. The coast guard received the call at about 1:30 A.M Sunday morning... about the same time i stumbled home from the bar. Smith left for the fishing trip Saturday morning at 6:30 A.M with three other men, one being another NFL player, Marquis Cooper, a linebacker for the Oakland Raiders. Boats and Helicopters have been sent out to search a 50 mile radius. I'll update this story as it progresses. Lets just pray they are ok.

Detroit Lions - Free Agent Signings and New Acquisitions

2009-03-01T11:28:00.013-05:00

Lookout NFL - The Lions are making moves. You have any misfits that you don't want? Send them to Detroit. Mayhew is wheeling and dealing and thus far, i can't complain about any of the moves he has made. He and Barack Obama have been put in the same position. It's possible they fail but at the moment, nobody expects a total turn-around for a while. So they both have room to work. Before i get into it, Lets look at the Lions trades and Free Agent Acquisitions so far.

Maurice Morris RB - Acquired from Seattle through free agency. He signed a three year deal to be a back up. He will probably steal some carries away from Kevin Smith. "But Detroit Mike! What about Rudi Johnson?" WELL... He's a FA and i don't know who wants him but it ain't us. See ya, bye.

Eric King DB - Acquired from Tennessee through free agency. Signed a two year deal and will probably serve as a backup, seeing the field in nickel packages. He's started just 3 games in the last three years. He is 26 and has some upside. Coach Jim Schwartz spent the past three years coaching him so he brought him on board - Sound familiar Marinelli? Lets bring the whole buccaneers football team over here! it's only been 10 years since they won it all. You say those players are retired? Horseshit, sign'em up.

Bryant Johnson WR - Acquired from San Francisco
through free agency. Lions inked him to a 3 yr - $9 million dollar deal. He was a 1st round pick (#17) of the Arizona Cardinals in 2003 from Penn St. He was primarily a third option in Arizona, hidden behind Larry Friz and Twan Boldin. He signed a one year deal in San Fran where he caught 45 balls for 546 yards and three dance parties. The man is 6'3 so it should give Matt Staffor.... i mean Dante Culpepper/Drew Stanton a good target. He will be the #2 in this years offense.

Anthony Henry DB- Acquired from Dallas through a
trade for QB Jon Kitna. I'm going to tell you this is a
pretty solid move by Mayhew. The Lions are getting a starting DB to go alongside.... Travis Fischer, Keith Smith or Eric King. Probably Fischer tho. Henry started 51 of 57 games in his Cowboys career. "But But But, Detroit Mike! We already have Leigh Bodden starting." WRONG - Bodden came over from Cleavland for Shawn "Big Baby" Rodgers and we released his ass. Also note worthy, other players we have flat out released.

TE Dan Campbell,
T Jon Dunn,
WR Mike Furrey,
G Edwin Mulitalo
S Dwight Smith.

Finding help for Calvin Johnson has been a priority for the Lions since free agency began Friday. Nate Washington visited Friday, and Michael Clayton was scheduled to come to Detroit on Friday night.

Well that's all i'm getting into at the moment but expect a full roster evaluation in the coming days. We are going to breakdown the team to see exactly how bad they are.

I put on for my city

2009-02-25T19:37:00.005-05:00

By: The Greek

If you grew up in Metro-Detroit you had to know how to hold your own, you know rep your town and yous gots to be SWOELL enough to back it up. As I grew up I began to realize that the haters aren’t only in Hovi, but the Dirty D is getting dawged by some cheese dicks nationwide. Well a few years ago I started my quest for reppin’ the D whenever out of her polluted friendly confines. I am proud to boast an undefeated record in the face of out of towners; even though I own every city I visit…we will break it down by state to make things easier.

We will start where it is normal to use the term “dunzo” in casual conversation or say “dome” when talking about somones head…pause...pause…goodnight now…

California- 8^th round…a worthy competitor

Arizona-2^nd rounds…got some promise, but still aint on California’s level.

Iowa-1^st round…what a joke, from Council Bluffs to Dubuque I facialized you…

Hawaii-12^th rounds…went the distance due to throwing down a few 12ers with Dog the Bounty Hunter the night before…

Illinois-22 secs into it…Pssshhh Please…

Indiana-3^rd round…had to stop at the College Football Hall of Fame…

Massachusetts-4^th round…talks a mean game, but the funny accents didn’t pack any power…

Colorado-2^nd round…”that John Denver is full of shit man”…

Maryland-1^st round…that cat didn’t stand a chance Detroit Mike...

Minnesota-1^st punch… Twinkie Town aint got shit on the Dirty D…

New Jersey-4^th round…the smell through me off for a little…

New York- 8^th round…just because they cheated, just like gay-rod…

Ohio-1^st round…thanks for the sparing match little brother…O-OH-OHI don’t care..

Pennsylvania-3^rd round…you aint sneakin’ no cheese by no rat…right Ron…

Texas-6^th round…south p was cool, but I took a lot of body blows due to the fact that the Dallas Cowboys ARE NOT AMERICAS TEAM (seriously, who gives themselves a nickname)…

Wisconsin-Disqualified…you throw some low blows Green Bay, I could only be classy for so long…(by the way read Mike McCarthy’s Feedbag)…

Virginia-7^th round…I am a Civil War buff, had to check out the sights so it took a little longer than originally thought…

West Virgina-2^nd round… it must have been date night with your cousin at the NFWB…

Florida-3^rd round…they throw in the towel due to a broken hip…rematch in 3 weeks, here I come Lakeland…”I am gonna eat your babies and step on your gentiles”…

18-0….nuff said son, I put it on for my City and if you want a shot at the title get at me….uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh I wish you would….

STILL THE CHAMP!!!!

Detroit Tigers - Hitting

2009-02-24T20:29:00.006-05:00

Let me tell you what you already know... This offense is going to mash the baseball. I'm predicting 900 runs and well within the top 5 again. The offense needs to carry this team and there is no reason they won't. Now let me tell you what you don't know... The defense will be better... WAY BETTER. The pieces are falling into place with only a couple question marks which will be figured out quickly. So lets break down the starting lineup.

Curtis Granderson CF- The All-American American. That's right, Granderson makes Jesus Christ and Santa Claus look like pedophiles. Just ask those clowns that wont shut up in section 323, Row 6, Seat 3-4. Tell'em how it is Greek. But seriously, Granderson is awesome and i'm not just saying that because he laid the pipe to my ex-girlfriend... lol it's all good. That gives me more credibility on the ladies i date. So no hard feelings, and he knows that. ANYWAY, Granderson owns the outfield and has a ton of range. He is fast and spreads the ball around with power. Look for Granderson to swipe about 20 bags while batting .295 with about 25 Homeruns. Like i said, the man is AWESOME.
Placido Polanco 2B- The man with the biggest head in MLB (as long as Bonds doesn't find a team). Polanco is a reliable #2 hitter with a crafty bat. You remember when he hurt his shoulder with that sick catch against the Red Sox? Yea, the Tigers started to slide after that. He is the glue that holds the team together. One of the best gloves in the game. Expect another .300 year while he sets the table for the 3 & 4 hitters.
Magglio Ordonez RF- The most popular Tiger in town. He is a rockstar in the city of Detroit and one of the nicest guys on the team (right behind that All-American American). Mags is getting up there in age. At 35, he doesn't run all that well and it looks like he is losing a little from that rocket arm of his. His defensive play has also decreased, but what he lacks in defense, he makes up for in offense. Mags is a consistent .300 hitter who drives the ball into the gaps. His power numbers have declined but expect a .315 average and about 22 homeruns. They can't pitch around him, which will let him rake in the RBI's.
Miguel Cabrera 1B - He came over from the National League and struggled the first half of the season. He then went on to punish the AL with 26 homeruns in the second half. People, Miguel Cabrera ain't playing. You want this shit? this shit right here? you talking about this shit? damn. I'm calling it right now. Miguel will finish top 3 in the AL in Homeruns, if not win the bitch. I'm looking at him repping a .310 avg while dropping 48 bombs. Say it again.
Gary Sheffield DH- One of my favorite players. I'm putting him on watch for "Comeback Player of the Year" right now son. We all know what Gary can do when healthy. He battled a shoulder injury all year which really effected his preparation in Spring Training and throughout the season. My man couldn't get his top hand through the baseball with his bum shoulder, which resulted in him not being able to crush anything thrown on the inner half of the plate. If he gets going in 09, watch out. This team is going to win a lot of games. He's sitting at 499 homeruns all-time and will most likely break it on the road somewhere. I'm going to go on a limb and predict a .280 avg with 30 Homeruns.
Carlos Gullien LF- One of the two question marks i have going into 09. Carlos Gullien is what Rod likes to call a "Professional Hitter."He will do what he does offensively, but he scares the hell out of my in the outfield. I haven't seen him play enough LF to feel comfortable out there. I know it doesn't get much better with Thames out there either. We are going to find out real quick if he can handle the OF after a preseason to prepare for a new position. I see Gullien's average decreasing slightly while most of his other numbers stay the same. Prediction .270 with 12 homeruns, 70 RBI's.
Gerald Laird C- The other large question mark with team. Laird is a addition to the team that will be responsible to handle this pitching staff. He's no Pudge, but an average catcher that should be able to handle himself at the plate. He is going to get a lot of AB's this year, so don't expect a high average. The good news is that with a lineup this potent, Laird should see a lot of good pitches to hit. I see Laird hitting about .250 with 10 homeruns.
Brandon Inge 3B- Inge puts the D in Defense... yea, that sounded gay. Anyway. No worries with Inge handling the hot-corner. Lets just hope he can keep his head on straight for the entire season and stay focused. Inge's .205 avg wont be reduplicated. Look for Inge to battle that .260 avg. with 15 Homerus and a good amount of runs scored.
Adam Everett SS- If there is any lineup that you can hide a player in, it is this one. He is a defensive upgrade which should help out the second worst defense in the league... 113 errors. I expect a total turn-around defensively and finish in the top 5 in the AL in defense. The man has good range and will hopefully hit above the Mendoza line in 2009. If not, my boy Ramon Santiago will take over LIKE HE SHOULD BE. This is a temporary fix until Cale Iorg makes his debut... which could be sooner than expect. I've been told by a VERY creditable source that this guy has the potential to be a All-Star type SS for a long time. I kind of expect a shitty year from Everett and Iorg taking the reigns sometime after the summer classic.

Bench

Santiago SS/2B - my man - good backup with a good bat

Thames- LF - Shitty defense but a power bat

Ryan Rayburn UTIL - Can play anywhere and be productive at the plate

Matt Treanor C- Is married to Misty May - NICE - That is all. She's to tall for me, but i'll hold my official opinion until i see her in some Tiger's gear.

Last spot/s: Up for grabs

Clete Thomas, Jeff Larish, Timo Perez, and longshot Mike Hessman,

Welp - The AL Central is tighter than a _________ and should be one hell of a finish for the pennant. I'm predicting a battle to the end with the White Sox and Indians. You know the Greek and I will be representing. I hope you will be too.

2009 Detroit Tigers - Pitching

2009-02-23T20:01:00.008-05:00

Ahh yes. Baseball season is upon us. Get your fantasy drafts ready, ice down your beer, and bundle up because opening day is not far away. The boys have officially reported to Lakeland and i'm about to breakdown what to expect in 2009.

We all know about the 2008 season, spending $137.7 million and finishing in the cellar of the AL Central at 74-88. But i'm here to tell you that it was a fluke. Injuries to players such as..... basically everybody. This was the most injury prone year in the history of the Detroit Tigers. Rest assure, the boys are healthy once again and we shouldn't lose any starters before the season begins (knock on wood). Without further ado: The 2009 Detroit Tigers.

Pitching
Starters

The Tigers grabbed a new pitching coach from Minnesota to help fix the biggest problem with last year's team. My source's tell me that he has implemented new workouts for pitchers such as pitching in front of a mirror and new control drills. The pitchers have taken a liken to the man and hopefully straighten out their woes. Lets break down the staff.

Justin Verlander - The Tigers Ace. He's been having problems since the world series in 2006 where his fastball dropped from 97 to 87. He's gotten it back to the mid- low 90's and shown flashes of greatest but struggled in 2008. He needs to bounce back for this team to be world series bound. Expect about 14 wins and a hell out a lot of K's.
Edwin Jackson - Jackson throws a low-mid 90's fastball. The Tigers acquired him from Tampa for former ladies man Matt Joyce. He is fairly young and has a ton of upside according to many scouts. He struggled in the second half of last season but still ended up going14-11. I'm not sold on this guy and PISSED we traded Joyce. But i'll go with the homer pick here. Expect a decent year from this young man, barring any injuries he should/better be a 10 game winner.
Armando Galarraga - WHO??? oh the Tigers best pitcher last season? Yea that's who. 13 wins last season led the team. He doesn't have a proven track record but has a pretty good K/9 rate. He throws a little bit of everything including his not really famous/famous Effis ball. Galarraga tends to keep hitters off balance by doubling up on pitches. Don't expect 13 wins but what the hell do i know, Texas didn't see anything in the kid either. Look for an 11-7 record.
Jeremy Bonderman - I'm not 100% sure he will make the rotation for opening day but he should be fully recovered from his surgery. He didn't throw on Sunday after experiencing stiffness, which isn't uncommon for this time. Bondo is getting paid $12.5 mill this season so expect him to find the rotation some time during this season, if not a regular. We've all been waiting for him to deliver a third solid pitch but i doubt he will find it before this season. Expect no more than 6 wins with a DL stint likely.
Let the circus begin. I'm not sure who the heck will fill this void, but with no lefties in the rotation, you are assured it will be either Nate Robertson or Dontrelle Willis. Kenny Rogers is still a possibility but the outlook of him coming back is not good. With that said, Tigers are contractually obligated to both Nate and Dontrelle. The word on Dontrelle is that his knee is recovered but his leg kick won't be like it use to. It's gonna be tough for him to return to his 2005 form. I believe Dontrelle was so good because he was very deceptive and unconventional. I think he will struggle to re-find himself. Robertson really can't get any worse. So i expect to see some success from the man this season. I predict Nate wins the job and he should be good for an 8-10 record.

Bullpen

Zach Minor - Could see time in the starting rotation - he will likely end up pitching long relief out of the pen.

Joel Zumaya - Will be in the bullpen if he can stay healthy. Chances are he won't tho. He will battle for the setup man position. There is a fine line of erratic pitching being a good thing. Zumaya needs to wrestle that line to find success.

Fernando Rodney - Should be the setup man to start the year. He needs to be more consistent and find another consistent pitch besides his change up which is no longer the "3rd best change up in the game," only because he can throw just two pitches for strikes. His slider is down right filthy when its on.

Bobby Seay - Had a pretty decent year for a Tiger's bullpen pitcher... which isn't saying much. He needs to become a lock down lefty out of the pen or it will be back to AAA.

Clay Rapada - Another lefty that is hanging onto a big league job. There is still a lot of spring training left but this unique hook needs to be a shut-down pitcher against lefty bats.

Freddy Dolsi - I like this kid a lot. He is a 160 pound fireballer. Kid has potential for sure.

Ryan Perry - Kid was lights out in the minors last season and has a shot to make the team in 2009. His fastball has been clocked at 100. The Tigers love those hard-throwing young guns, If Zumaya goes down, look for Perry to get the call to the show. He could be the next setup man and eventual closer in 2011.

Juan Rincon - Inked a minor league deal with the Tigers and will give Bobby Seay a run for his money. Look for this lefty to be in the show at some put and hopefully regain his once stellar form.

Brandon Lyon - The new closer replacing my favorite Tiger, Todd Jones. They are very similar in a way. Both throw a heavy ball and both play with a lot of heart, although you will never have the emotion my man Jones wore on his sleeves. Lyon has been handled the closing role before and believes he can do it again. He took less money to come to Detroit and become a closer rather than a setup man. He predict he holds it down all year.

Overall - The bullpen will still be a question mark going into 09 but it should be better. They are going to take a lot of wins away from the starters this year. The starting rotation will also be questionable but should be better.

I will preview the offense tomorrow.

Marijuana wins gold medals

2009-02-21T14:40:00.005-05:00

I know the whole Michael Phelps thing is old news but i was thinking about it the other day and came up with a conspiracy theory type realization. What if Michael Phelps smokes weed routinely? It's part of his daily schedule. He NEEDS it to increase his appetite so he can stuff his face full of food. Remember the 30,000 daily calorie diet? Yea. Marijuana is the substance helping athletes succeed these days.

A typical Phelps day includes a wake-and-bake session, followed by stuffing his face full of breakfast foods. He then heads to the pool to swim for 2 hours straight, heads back to the locker room where he pulls out a 6 foot bong and clears that bitch with ease. Can you imagine that? With his lung capacity? shit, that would be easy. After a 10,000 calorie lunch, he hits the pool for another couple hours, visits mom, then goes home to blaze it up with his dog while stuffing his face full of pizza.

Michael Phelps - a role model that more people can look up to and admire. He deserves another gold medal for smoking weed everyday and being a productive citizen.

So how much do you hate yourself?

2009-02-19T18:58:00.003-05:00

Theory of a Deadman released this song recently and it's been bouncing around the radio like a beach ball at a Nickelback concert.

This may be my new favorite song to hate... seriously, This guy not only sounds like a tool, but you cant try to sing these lyrics.

Funny thing is, he is right, I hate all that shit... besides my life... if it's that bad, just go kill yourself brah...

He probably won't tho because i know he doesnt hate the money he's making off this song.

Here is a list of the things he hates.

1. hobos always begging for change
2. hate all of the people who can't drive their cars.
3. hate how my wife is always up my ass
4. I hate my job
5. all of my rich friends
6. How he never gets laid
7. Hates his boss
8. I hate that I can't tell when a girl's underage
9. His life.

CMONNNNNNNNN Who doesn't hate 1-8 with the except to #5 cuz you need to take advantage of that. Have a clue

Southern Living

2009-02-18T22:05:00.027-05:00

So after graduating college, I took a job down south because we all know there isn't a whole hell of a lot else going on in the D. Don't worry, I'm still throwing it down for my city and i'm more up-to-date on the happenings then most people that live there. Sooo without further ado... The Redneck Yacht Club

The 2009 Redneck Award Winners

Redneck Harley

Redneck Bass Boat

Redneck Grill

Redneck Horseshoes

Redneck Lawnmower

Redneck Weather Station

Redneck Pet Carrier

Redneck Gingerbread House

Redneck Guest Bedroom

Redneck Palm Pilot

Redneck Powerball Winner

The above Powerball winner on vacation

You might be a redneck if a little rain doesn't spoil the fishing

You need fashion tips from your husband

You wear a shirt like this for your engagement picture

And your wedding cake looks like this

And your doghouse looks like this

And your pickup looks like this

You have a deers butt for a door bell

You don't need a lake to do a little skiing

Or your wife is quoted in the local paper saying

Hey Steven Threet.... It was nice to know ya.... But we gotta move onnnnnnnnn

2009-02-17T21:38:00.014-05:00

So all rumors were confirmed the other day. Redshirt Freshmen Quarterback Steve Threet has decided to transfer from the University of Michigan... Those who follow Big Blue have heard the rumors this past week and like usual, they were dead on.

"I've decided to transfer from the University of Michigan," Threet said in a his statement to the media. "I have requested and received my release. I do not yet know where I will continue my collegiate career and will have no further comment until that decision is made."

So where does this leave Michigan? People will argue this both ways until they are blue in the face but the truth of it is that this kind of hurts. Threet was probably going to be slatted to start again this season for Michigan. He wasn't great last season, but showed signs of promise. You can't expect a freshman playing the most important position on the field, to have tremendous success with the pressure of 107,000, national television, and 100 years of tradition breathing down your back... all while still using a map to locate where his class is at. He wasn't in the future plans for this offense and he made a decision that is in his best interest... so lay the fuck off the kid. alright? bloggers on the message boards make me sick.

Which brings me to the great Tate Forcier. Forcier will be given the opportunity to earn that starting spot, and will most likely get it. i know he fits the system better, i know he has a cannon for an arm, but he will be a freshman with little college experience (besides the fact that he enrolled early)

Things working in his favor
1. Fits the system
2. Easier schedule
3. Better O-line
4. Speed - The read-option handoff may actually be a decent play this year
5. More weapons that fit the system
6. Better defense.... i think

But do not expect greatness, either should you. Michigan should be happy to make a bowl game in 09. I predict 6-6, which would give them a bowl game because they are Michigan. Glory will be restored in 2009. Leave your predictions in the comments section....

I'm in Love with a Stripper

2009-02-16T20:56:00.021-05:00

By: The Greek

Coming off of Valentines Day weekend I figured why not bring you a complete analysis of Strippers, cause lets face it I know a majority of the single crowd reading this most likely came home on Saturday night smelling of cheap perfume, female sweat and shame. And who better to bring you this examination of the working girl than The Greek, the kid who was getting tutored in 10^th grade algebra from a very nice Koran gal named Sky. To make this a little easier we will use the Detroit Mike system to break down the ladies of the night…

Five Star:

Just like a big time recruit you aint gonna find no five star stripper in the backwoods strip clubs…you know the ones that you pay an little extra coinage for the….you know…do it….do it. You will find these former rap video booty dancers out in Sin City, which if you have never been there is no comparison…especially when you get one of them to give you 12 bucks for a cab ride back to the strip…thanks Veronica. You may also find these five stars in such states as; California, Florida, Texas and the occasional New York, Ohio, Michigan (The Vu in E. Lansing or Sag-Nasty) or Arizona. She can work it, twerk it and knows that your watching. She is the type of stripper that when walking out of your 3^rd lap dance you go back and tell your buddies, “I’m in love with a stripper”.

Four Star:

These girls can be found in all of the above mentioned locations, but are in high abundance in the latter. They can be found in states such as Georgia, Illinois, the Carolina’s and maybe a larger one in Iowa….believe me on this one. When you run across a four star in a big recruiting area, you know they will work that much harder to be the best, I mean living in the shadow of your peers is a great motivator. However, when running into a four star in some of the smaller venues they tend to have a bigger ego than you would want. Due to the lack of competition, besides a hand full of five stars, they think they are the cock of the walk, maybe hot enough to con one of your friends into buying them a shot after a little flirting…bede….

Three Star:

WELCOME TO DETROIT, home of the three star strippers. If you are hitting up Trumps on 8 Mile, the Landing Strip, Flight Club or the Vu (in Ypsi) Michigan is a breading ground for three stars. If you are a regular to the area you might have a previous relationship with a three star or you might make a late push at a three star looking for someone to fill that two deep spot on the roster/that extra 20 bucks in your pocket. Nonetheless a three star can surprise you with going that extra inch to make you happy with your investment.

Two Star:

Your two star strippers can be found in pretty much every state and every city you can recruit. No matter if you’re looking for one or not they will make sure you know they are there. It might be asking you for a dance 4 or 5 times in a night or constantly sending you film well after the signing deadline. Even though it can become annoying, the nice thing about a two star is that if there is an exchange of cell phone numbers, there will be a text or phone call within the next two days….the rest is up to your recruiting skills…

One Star:

There are a few one stars out there that at one point could have signed, but due to injuries (kids) or lack of that play making ability the y just don’t cut it. This is when the 1 dollar lap dance start coming out, desperation times call for desperate measures, just make sure they don’t chop block you’re four or five stars on a Thursday practice just trying to prove something. Then you have you walk-ons or also known as amateur night. Sure there is a 1 in 100 chance that one of them could surprise you and end up getting a scholarship down the road. Unfortunately, a majority will make out with you and your buddy while on stage…making it very weird for those friends the next day when one finds a sore on his lip that wasn’t there the day before…right Detroit Mike???

2009-02-13T21:26:00.000-05:00

In Charlotte for the weekend. Next post will be Sunday

Detroit Lions: The Entire Front Office Needs To GO

2009-02-12T19:32:00.006-05:00

Less than five days ago i blogged about how bad the Lions are and i asked myself "Can it get any worse?" Well folks. It indeed can. I stumbled across something the other day that blew my mind. While searching for a Lions Team Calender (to put up in my cubicle.... hey, its a good conversation starter) i came across what appears to be the official one. For only $15. Not bad. But I paused in shock to find ROY WILLIAMS on the cover! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Please tell me this is a sick joke.

How do you screw that up? I linked it above. you can find it pretty much anywhere. We've all taken our jabs at William Clay Ford but it is now apparent that the entire front office can't get it right and they need to scrap them too. Clean the house baby. I'm sick of it. Roy was traded back in early October. I'm doubtful this thing went to print by then. Why wouldn't you put Calvin Johnson on the cover anyway? Who dropped the ball on that? Just goes to show why this organization is the biggest joke in the NFL.

Breaking Down The D

2009-02-11T12:45:00.005-05:00

Guest blogger and good friend tells it how it is. So listen up!
By: Jimmy "The Greek"

I like my cities how I like my women; dirty, nasty and poor. That’s right, Motown Jimmy finna draw you a picture of how we Dirty Dawgs from the D ride. Detroit Mike and I go back like pampers. We rocked the Ole English D when it wasnt cool, we hit up the 'And 1' Mix Tape Tour at Cobo, we drink Vernors with SoCo and in our younger days we used to kick it with some Canadian Chicka’s at the Reactor over in Windsor after a Friday night Tigers win. Being a true fan of Detroit Sports Talk Radio I have begun to become quite good at making ridiculous statements with a big time homer slant. Over the course of the next few hundred words we will dive into ever-long comparison of candy bars and Detroit Sports Teams.

Snickers/Detroit Red Wings:

When having the urge to indulge yourself in a candy bar where do you turn? If you’re an AmeriCAN you will turn to the All-American Snickers bar. Peanuts, caramel, creamy nuggets all covered in chocolate (that’s what she said). Simply put, it’s the “bee’s knee’s”. It’s just like the Detroit Red Wings. They are the absolute studs of the hockey world. Established in 1932 the Wings have dominated the game like Detroit Mike and I dominate a 30 of brews at the Ball-B-Q. 11 Stanley Cup Champions (Most out of American hockey franchises), 5 Western Conference Championships and 17 Divisional Titles…..nough said! Such greats as Gordie Howe, Sid Able, Ted Lindsay, Steve Yzerman and a host of 36 Hall of Famers has put on the red and white sweaters. The only other two teams that can brag as much the Red Wings are the Montreal Canadians or the Toronto Maple Leafs. Which in recent years both the Canadians franchises have not seen the success the Red Wings have boasted. The only negative thing the Red Wings have done since 1932 is the “Dead Wing Era” (1967-1982) and those idiotic “Wing Nut” hats.

Milky-Ways/Detroit Tigers and Detroit Pistons:

When all the facts are laid out on the table the comparison between a Milky-Way and the Tigers are pretty close. They will satisfy your sweet tooth, but always leave you wanting more. The Tigers indeed have a rich history with 4 World Series Titles (1935, 1945, 1968, 1984), 10 American-League Championships and 24 Hall of Famers that have put on that ballin’ Ole English D. Moreover, the Tigers recent slight success has fueled Tiger Fever amongst most frat boys, their girlfriends with oversized sunglasses and a family with small children. Mostly, the people that have no idea what they are talking about when they say, “Curtis Granderson should make the All-Star game because he is such a great person!” Don’t get me wrong I love Granderson as a ball player and a role model, but seriously SHUT UP WHEN YOU ARE SITTING BEHIND ME IN SECTION 328 ROW F SEAT 2!!!! As I step down from my soap box we should get back to the point. The Tigers will always convince your sweet tooth to go away, but think about this…in 5 years they would have gone 30 years without winning a Fall Classic (however Rod Allen makes the games pure enjoyment). The Pistons are also on par with a Milky-Way, you know the semi-hot girlfriend who never really puts out??? I mean it’s not like your drop dead gorgeous, you might want to work at keeping a guy (or fans) around…duh. But nonetheless the Pistons have kept it hood with 3 NBA Titles (2 NBL Titles), 7 Conference Championships (2 Western and 5 Eastern) and 11 Division Championships (4 NBL Divisional Championships). With 19 Hall of Famers the Pistons can make an argument, but still lack the Michael Scott Rule of Always Be Closing (ABC). When it is all said and done the Tigers and Pistons hold their own at being considered some of the best franchises in their respected sports. But until, they start putting out a little more they will always be considered a Milky-Way to me….

3 Musketeers/Detroit Lions:

A 3 Musketeers is like that half-step brother who lives in Mom’s basement and is still playing way to much Grand Theft Auto, not to mention his addiction to sniffing daily household cleaning supplies. They have won 4 NFL Championships, with the last being in 1957 when it was acceptable to tuck in your shirt when wearing blue jeans. 1993 was the last time they won the Division (7 time winners) and in 1999 was the last time they made the playoffs, only because they had the hands down best running back to ever play the game…Scott Mitchell had the easiest job in the world, take the snap and give it to Barry Sanders. Within the last decade the Lions have been the skid mark on the underwear of Detroit, Detroit just happens to be considered the same in the eyes of our fellow Americans (All of you who look down on us Detroiters can suck my right tail pipe on my new GM SUV). With a 495-572 total record it doesn’t look that bad, but since 2000 the Lions have only had one winning season and have a total mark of 40-104. Let’s not even touch the 0-16 season, because it’s been played out. However the Lions are the worst NFL franchise in the history of the league…also note that they are one of only three teams (Jaguars and Browns) to never win a Super Bowl. Well Lions you are truly are the street bum of the NFL, not even a shadow of a past self or even a proud enough franchise to sell out home games. But, you know us Detroiters will never give up on you, you’re like Cocaine…it’s a hell of a drug…but nevertheless you are a low grade never fulfilling 3 Musketeers.

You stay dirty, nasty and poor Detroit, don’t you dare go changing on me…

University of Michigan: Making me want to punch Sparty in the face since 2008.

2009-02-10T20:35:00.021-05:00

Little Brother 54 Michigan 42

It's cool. My little brother can probably beat me in B-Ball too. But i swear to god i will always pummel him in every other sport and with my fists. So are we surprised? Not at all. Michigan got their ass handed to them on the boards. MSU 30 - UofM 20. Manny Harris played the worst game of his career... 2-10 for 7 points. AND the number that stands out the most... 4-25 from the three point line...

4-25 from behind the arc

Take a minute to let that sink in.

ready to continue?

OK. So that's mind-blowing 16%. Most kids in high school don't make their varsity team if that's what they shoot. Was it just a bad night for Michigan? You could say that. But in all honesty, It hasn't been real good all season. Losing Ben Cronin hurt because we really only have 2 players that can play in the post at the moment. Sims (who is a freak athlete) and Gibson (who reminds me of Graham Brown... THE MOOSE!)

The real story here is how Michigan got there ass handed to them by State's Man-to-Man defense. They had no answer besides just launching up bricks from the perimeter. I'll give props to MSU's D and Delvon Roe who didn't do a god damn thing except pull down boards and put back easy bunnies. Something Michigan had no answer for.

All this positive MSU talks is making me sound a little gay. I know. But rest assure, i bleed Maize and Blue. I just know when we've been out matched and out played. I keep it real. But for the State fans that run around, trying to throw that shit back at us like you just won the god damn WWF championship of the world; Putting up ridiculous billboards after your first win against us in football in years;

All i have to say is... Your time will come. Oh Yes. It is only a matter of time before the stars break alignment, hell unfreezes and another MLB star admits to steroids. Your fans have been classless and rude. While you may have finally stunned Goliath, it wont be long before Big Brother takes back the title and all the bandwagon state fans crawl back to their holes.

Suck a fat one Sparty, you know you want to.

AFRAUD

2009-02-09T22:44:00.004-05:00

AROID. Whatever you want to call him. There is no doubt he is in DEEP SHIT. He has tainted the most important part of the game of baseball. That is the History. A-Rod will eventually become the All-Time Homerun King in MLB and his record will also go into the books with an asterisk. But before you state your own opinion, let me ask you this question proposed by Jim Caple of ESPN, Page 2. This article was written a while ago and since the A-rod thing came out, i can no longer find it besides a small spot on the bottom of an espn page. But i swear to you there was an entire article at one point.

"Before voting to place an asterisk on the Barry Bonds 756 ball or launch it into space, you should consider this question: Do you cheer the players on your favorite team who are suspected of using performance enhancers? If so, you have no credibility -- none, nada zero, zip -- if you consider Bonds a cheat while giving your players a free pass. Cheer steroid users or boo them, just be consistent."

AMEN. Well put. Well, there were 103 other players who tested positive back in 2003. Many that are still in the league. Will you cheer for them? I'm curious to see how New York will react when ARod steps to the plate for that first at bat. I already dislike the Yankees as most of you also do. But god help me they cheer this guy? After all the crap those fans and reporters gave Bonds and McGuire? He deserves to be boo'd. BIG TIME. Get your AROID shirts

I don't know if you saw this, but ESPN had a poll the other day. Would you take performance-enhancing drugs for a $250 million contract at your job?

Funny thing. it was like 80% of people saying yes

LOL

On another note. I want to make one thing clear for all. You still have to put the bat on the ball. Steroids don't help you hit the baseball. You may be slightly more focused, stronger, better endurance, but the bottom line is, you have to hit the f-ing baseball. ARod is one heck of a player i'm sure he still would have been a lock for the Hall of Fame if he didn't use steroids. Bonds as well. I don't respect the way they played the game. But they are/were damn good ball players.

The Recruiting Process

2009-02-09T22:21:00.000-05:00

Just a first-hand example of THE RECRUITING PROCESS with a friend who i will keep anonymous.

Speaking about a girl my buddy knows.

Detroit Mike(10:14:42 PM): u give __Girl's name here__ a call? (Sorry gotta keep it on the DL)
Detroit Mike(10:15:55 PM): Shes that 5 star recruit
Detroit Mike(10:16:10 PM): You gotta get the program up on that level son
Friend(10:16:27 PM): for sure she is definitely someone id build my program around
Detroit Mike(10:16:29 PM): I'd at least send her some mail here and there
Detroit Mike(10:16:36 PM): keep her interested
Friend(10:17:11 PM): yeah maybe ill give her a quick call no more than 5 mins though gotta keep her wanting more
Detroit Mike(10:17:37 PM): haha gotta save those minutes too
Detroit Mike(10:17:44 PM): use them for other prospects ya know
Detroit Mike(10:18:09 PM): pitch her on coach prestige
Detroit Mike(10:18:13 PM): lol
Friend(10:19:31 PM): ill def go hard on that experience, program stability and TV exposure
Detroit Mike(10:20:38 PM): lol
Detroit Mike(10:20:45 PM): nice

I guess if you have any experience playing NCAA Football for PS2, PS3, or XBox 360, you may find that somewhat funny. Otherwise, disregard and move on.

Don't eat that cornbread!!!!

2009-02-08T19:06:00.000-05:00

I didn't want to do it. I really didn't want to bring them up. But dammit. Lets vent... (Where did i put that 12 pack of Coors). It's hard to achieve perfection in sports. Very few can claim to be perfect. And wouldn't ya know it, our Detroit Lions are among the few. Why do i bring up the worst professional team in all of sports? Because they are OURS. No matter how much you hate them, you still flip on the game or check the score on your phone. We've seen bad. We've had our hearts ripped out. They say tough times don't last but tough people do. Welllllll Sir... agree to disagree. While America may have just entered a recession, Detroit has been in one for 30 years. We've turned to sports and drinking year after year to get us through. and ya know what? We are pretty damn good at both of those things. I don't know about you, but i'm down for crushing a twelve pack of Labatt Blue, rocking out to some Ted Nugent, and throwing on the Tigers game with Rod Allen.

++=

VERY NICE. Also very true, except for this team. But do not over look the one thing the Lions have that no other team can claim. Something that is demanded by fans in all sports. The one thing you wish that all refs would be.... and that my friends is CONSISTENCY. Oh yea. We got it. That one playoff win... fluke. You barely remember it anymore. We drove the greatest running back into retirement 3-5 years to early! It's a given that the last game the lions play will be week 17... EVERY YEAR. Listen people. The cornbread has gone bad, never been good, hell, we couldn't even get it in the oven.

So what's next? Where do we go from here? Welp, it starts with a new owner. I'm not going to waste my time bitching about that because we know he ain't going anywhere. So how bout we get a new GM? Oh whats that? We kept it in house? Oh alright. Stick with whats working. Good plan. But in all seriousness, i don't know if Mayhew can do it or not. I'd love for him to prove me wrong and show me something. Next a new coach, CHECK. Is he the guy? ahhhh no, but he will be a solid stepping stone for the next coach to lead us to a 9-7 wild card birth in 2012. And that leads us to the draft. ahhh Christmas in April.... Who are we getting and who do we need... I'll save it for a rainy day in the future. But before I release my draft preview... HEAR THIS.! The Lions should trade out of the #1 pick... DUHHHH. But since they most likely will not find a taker. I want to tell you the best pick at #1. AND IT IS.... Michael Oher from Ole Miss. He will be a top 5 pick... possibly #1 overall. Please, please don't take a QB with the first pick. I tried telling William Clay that the other day and he told me "I'm sorry, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

E= MC Vagina

2009-02-07T17:55:00.000-05:00

So you are talking with your buddy and he tells you that he met this really attractive girl at the bar last night. You say "Really? how hot?" What is he suppose to say? "umm... shes like a 9 out of 10....." NO! Don't be that guy. Get with the program. You can't be grading girls like that anymore. It's rude and unprofessional. You don't want to be overheard and be called out as the creeper you really are. Cuz we all know you share the same feelings as this guy.

You need to go undercover with it son. So nobody knows what your talking about. That is why i propose a system created by myself and a very good friend over at http://habitualnoise.blogspot.com/ Feel free to share some feedback.

The Recruiting Scale

For all you college football fans out there. This scale can be used in your every day communications. You rate a girls attractiveness according to Stars.

5 star = Your top notch, blue chip prospect. The Tim Tebow of the college football world. A true dime piece. This is as good as it gets. A 5 star ranking may only be used with a select few. Example of a 5 star is Megan Fox. Yummmmy

4 Star = A high quality prospect that would make your dad proud.
This chick is definitely an eye catcher and a solid prospect that you
would most likely offer a scholarship to on the spot. Sign the letter of
intent girl.

3 Star = A mid-level recruit. Depending on your program (your standards), you may or may not offer a scholarship. Also depends on your recruiting needs at the moment (are you desperate). These are the prospects that you really need to do your homework on. I suggest bringing assistant coaches along on an in-house visit to help you judge talent. You may feel the need to bring her in just to tour the facilities. Completely understandable. Do not under estimate the impact a three star recruit can have on a program. This is the what I'd consider a three star - sorry if this is your wife. I just found it on the Internet.

2 Star= Unless you are a program consistent with the MAC, SunBelt, WAC, D1AA, or the Pac 10.... (yea i said Pac 10. *except USC) Then a two star might be all you can get. That's OK, there are plenty of two star recruits out that are really nice and have great personalities... whatever that is.

1 Star = I don't know what to say. I don't believe I've ever offered a scholie to a 1 star... much less gave them a ranking at all. One Stars are the bottom of the barrel. I like to call them 3 baggers. One bag for you, one bag for her, and one bag for whomever may unfortunately see the two of you doing the dirty. I honestly don't know what to say and i will leave it at that.

So yea, that's it. Please don't bitch about how offensive you think this is. I'm going to give you a run down of a normal, public conversation. If you didn't know this scale, would you have any idea what we were talking about?

Guy 1 - Yo, how was the talent up at the gym?

Guy 2 - It was pretty good. Saw a couple 4 stars on the treadmills. I was talking to this one four star recruit about possibly setting up an in-home visit and obtaining some highlight tapes to see the real talent level..... BUT i found out she already has a scholarship offer on the table. Fuck that tho. I'm the Rich Rod of recruiting. I'll turn that commitment into a soft verbal in a week.

Guy 1 - Oh Nice. She got any friends?

So what did we learn today? We learned that their is a formula in which to rank women with out anybody understanding you except your friends. It's like Math! Nobody knows how it works, it just does! I'll post another method for ya'll to use soon. Also will be looking at new methods on the comments section. Lemme hear what ya got/think.

What It's All About

2009-02-07T15:36:00.000-05:00

WELCOME

Before I get this thing a-cracking, i figured i'd share a little bit about myself and what this blog is all about. After about a week of reading blogs and sharing my thoughts with others, I've finally decided to start my own. The harassment from other blogger's is OVER. Now, on to the important stuff.

WHO AM I?

Don't worry about that. You will find out in time. I'm a 24 year old caucasian putting on for my city. I somehow graduated college with a journalism degree. I'm the worst speller in the Eastern Time Zone. I don't really know what a verb even is. So what, wanna fight about it? Since I'm not really doing jack shit with my major, i figured this is the best way to put it to work while getting some shit off my chest. I have a Sport Management minor and I'm using that to work in Minor League Baseball. I'm extremely passionate about sports. I guess you could call me a homer. My teams are the Detroit Tigers, Lions, Red Wings, and Pistons... In that order. I also religiously follow the University of Michigan Athletics as well as CMU (Sorry little brother... You will also be discussed but it most likely will not be positive).

Actually I'm kinda like this guy, except better looking

Many of the topics that will be discussed will deal with my Detroit teams; however, i will also be sharing my thoughts on topics such as drinking, women and whatever the hell else i feel like bitching about. I want to hear your comments on my articles. Don't tell me my writing sucks and comment about how some of my sentences don't make any sense. NO SHIT. I already know that. For all you know i could be piss ass drunk and get on here just to see what happens. Actually i plan on doing that. I'm not going to go back and re-read for grammar and all that good stuff. That's not how we do it in the D. If your lucky, i will share with you some of my most random, screwed up stories that have impacted my life and may affect yours.

So yea, unlike some people, i actually have a life. I work long hours, but i plan to throw some stuff on here on a nightly basis. It is what it is. Michigan plays #1 Uconn at 6. A finna get boozed up and hope Michigan covers the 15.5 point spread. LETS DO IT.